September 2009
139 posts
Today, I walked into the bathroom to brush my...
I have to do this now. I’ll be in the supply closet waiting if anyone is wondering.
(via papertissue)
Guns Are Bad →
Feckin right he wouldn't
I sit next to a dude about my age in a good mood. We're at the blackjack table and have been making small talk. He has an accent, but I can't tell from where.
Me: Where you guys going later?
Him: Ghost Bar probably.
Me: Cool. I was just up in the Sky Suite for a party. The views are insane up there. It's $25,000 a night to rent it out.
Him: Wow.
Me: I think the ladies would flock if you told them you had that room for the night.
Him: Oh definitely. I'd trade my Northern Irish accent for that suite. It'd help me out more with them.
Me: No it wouldn't.
Him: You're right. I wouldn't trade it at all. (laughs hysterically)
Seriously, it's not even fair.
Annoying Things To Do On An Elevator
I want to do 9 and 4, but mostly 2.
m-altruism:
CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask “Got enough air in there?”
STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you’re embarrassed when they open themselves.
GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or...
'Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo...
fuckyeahfacts:
Because ‘buffalo’ can mean the large bovine, the city in New York state, or a verb meaning ‘to bully’. It was first created by linguist William J. Rapaport - from the University of, naturally, Buffalo.
(source)
This happened at work
Andrea: How do you spell 'guzzler'?
Me and Bassim: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA UMMMM
Andrea: Ok fine, I'll google it...
Me and Bassim: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Watch“I am very interested in all phases of data processing.”
unamazing:
Dating Montage
Greatest Video
It's called laying the groundwork.
(I will now be riding a bike around town until this happens to me)
This morning I'm walking to work on an extremely narrow sidewalk. A cute girl on a bike tries to squeeze by me.
Girl: Oh, sorry! Excuse me. (laughs)
I step aside onto the grass.
Me: No problem.
(waiting until she's 15 feet ahead of me)
Me (screaming): NEVER AGAIN.
She laughs so hard I think she's going to crash her bike.
What a way to start today: →
